Poem: Feeding Frenzy

You wouldn’t believe how long since my last
But I woke up all ready, got to break my fast
Just look at me now, you can see how I feel
I’m a fast-growing boy and I need a real meal
There’s an empty space inside where my hunger resides
There’s only one thing to do, think I’m gonna eat you

I want to snarf you down, your neck’s where I’ll begin
Hit every spot that you’ve got, wherever there’s skin
Gonna eat what I will until I’ve had my fill,
working down and back around and then I’ll come back again

I tried Mrs. Paul, she’s a cold, fishy treat
Got a taste of Little Debbie, she’s a little too sweet
Julia Child has never served what I need
And Chef Boy-ar-dee just doesn’t do it for me
You’re what I want to munch, I need a Hungry Man lunch
I want a dinner hot and steamin’ that I can put some cream in

I want to gobble you up, I want to taste you all day
You’re my all-you-can-eat, you’re my favorite buffet
I want some thighs and a breast then I’ll savor the rest
with strawberries, chocolate, and chilled chardonney

First course will be tongue, delicious and wet
I’ll sample your peaches but I’m not done yet
A piece of your rump roast will do me right
then I’ll gobble your taco the rest of the night
My whole menu’s the same and it all has your name
I’m going to give you five stars, do you take MasterCard?

I want to feed my face, I want to eat at the “Y”
Gonna eat ’til I’m bursting, then wipe my face dry
I hope you got a whole lot and you’re keeping it hot
‘cuz I’m getting up for seconds and a big bite of pie!

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