At last, you can show off how well you can have sex by yourself!

OK, that didn’t sound right at all.

So, you know how people compete in Air Guitar championships? Get up on stage in front of an audience and rock out without any actual instruments? And they have competitions all over the world, with real prizes and sponsorship and everything?

It’s like that, but with sex. The Air Sex World Championships, held in 16 bouts in cities all around the U.S., is asking frisky folks to come up on stage and show everyone how you do it. “Or how you wish you could do it. Or how you once had it done to you, and oh my god was that a bad idea and while it’s embarrassing to show that act to a room of strangers, you know that you need to do it now in order to make sure that no one else falls down the same rabbit hole you got stuck inside.”

You’ve got two minutes, you can’t get nude or have actual orgasms (that anyone can prove), and I have no idea what you might win, aside from the glory of being YouTubed forever. But isn’t that enough?

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