Song: The Blue Movie Blues

(Guy sings)
Every week I show up just to clean her pool
and as soon as I do she grabs hold of my tool
It’s a lot of fun, sure, but it’s gone on for a year
And my boss wants to know what I do over here
as the things in the pool have all started to ooze
I think I got the blue movie blues

(Guy’s chorus)
‘Cuz wherever I go and whatever I do
Every woman I meet, they all want to screw
There’s no logic involved and no mystery solved
I got a case of the blue movie blues

(Girl sings)
Gave up delivery jobs ‘cuz they’re all the same
I’d show up with the goods and I’d stay for the game
I brought groceries, laundry, pizza at night
’til I found what they all really wanted to bite
I’m not a good-lookin’ girl but I can’t seem to lose
because I’ve got the blue movie blues

(Girl’s chorus)
These guys are all rugged, well-dressed and hung
Get it up right on cue, got a prehensile tongue
They pump ’til I shout but they keep pulling out
Oh Lord, I’ve got the blue movie blues

(Guy sings)
I worked really hard in an executive way
’til they made me the pres-i-dent one day
Secretary came in, did an arabesque,
said “I don’t work right ’til I’m screwed to the desk!”
Now I got fourteen temps ‘cuz I don’t like to choose
Not while I’ve got the blue movie blues

(Guy’s chorus)
Every woman’s a knockout, tits out to there
and not a single one wears un-der-wear
They’re all fantastic in bed and they all give me head
to try and cure my blue movie blues

(Girl sings)
You know last summer at noon the aliens dropped
and they kidnapped me in the parking lot
I shrieked and I screamed ‘cuz I knew I would die
Then they strapped me down tight and they unzipped their flies
So now I’m back here on Earth but nobody screws
not like the cosmic blue movie blues

(Girl’s chorus)
I’ve heard of VD and AIDS but I can’t get a dose
and I’ve never even seen a condom up close
‘Cuz there’s no birth control until the credits roll
Not when you’ve got the blue movie blues

(Guy and girl alternate)
(Guy) It’s every guy’s fantasy but it’s starting to bore
(Girl) And every hole that I’ve got is incredibly sore
(Guy) I want a steady girl, not just whoever’s here now
(Girl) And I’m sick of directors telling me how
(Together) I keep thinking I’ll quit but it’s hard to refuse
another case of the blue movie blues
Another taste of the blue movie blues
I just can’t face the blue movie blues

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