[Scene opens as the camera tracks through heavy white drapes over white french doors. We enter a brilliant white bedroom, luxuriously furnished in white and silver. Violin music is playing - low and sensual. A stunningly beautiful blonde woman is laying across the bed, legs crossed at the ankles, arms outstretched, head propped up on a pillow. Her makeup is impeccable. She begins talking as we reach the foot of the bed]

PROSTATIA: Hi. [licks lips] I’m Prostatia Jones, porn star and part-time waitress. And I’m here to offer you the Spraybelline Challenge. You know how easily mascara smears, how easily lipstick smudges, how tough it is to get those messy stains off your cheeks without ruining your blush. Well, Spraybelline’s new BukkakeTM line of makeup can handle anything you can throw at it. Just watch!

[The background music seques gracefully into a fully-orchestrated rendition of the theme fom "Deep Throat" (arranged and performed by Vanessa Mae). A naked man enters from the left. He is large, muscular, and obviously very interested in Prostatia, or at least portions of her. He begins stroking his penis very quickly.]

PROSTATIA: Can your makeup handle this?

[She immediately turns just in time to catch the massive dollops of thick ropy fluid all over her face. She turns, smiling, making sure she's completely coated. When he finally subsides, she turns back to us, dripping.]

PROSTATIA: You girls know what to expect now, right? Wiping, drying, washing, cleansing, moisturizing, and then starting all over from scratch in time for the next scene, without even enough time for a quick toot. Well, you might be surprised.

[Another naked man strides in and hands her a small towel. Prostatia draws it across her face once; she is once again immaculate. The second man also begins stroking himself. More men enter the room.]

PROSTATIA: See? Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM can handle anything! When you do as many sex scenes as I do every day, you need makeup that can bounce back when you do.

[She spins around to take another face-full. The towel makes short work of this as well. There are now six men around the bed, with more coming in.]

PROSTATIA: Whee! And Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM can do a lot more than this! Mud, cole slaw, body paint, urine, whatever you need to get off your face right away, Spraybelline’s… glub…!

[She is interrupted by another shot in the face. The other men are starting to jockey for position. Prostatia grabs for the towel but it's a bit damp, so she makes do with the coverlet.]

PROSTATIA: Cough! Um, Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM is there to help protect your delicate skin from anything they can offer. Just… blub gurk…

[We can no longer see Prostatia behind the wall of men standing around her, but we can see their arms moving furiously and we can hear her over the music.]

PROSTATIA: (shouting) Just look… ack… look at this testimonials! Whoop!

[CUT TO: a beautiful Asian woman walking out of a massage room, carrying her robe. She is covered in spunk, but smiling a dazzling smile.]

HOOTCHIE: I’m Hootchie Mintrale. I just love Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM. With the time I save not having to reapply makeup between spoogings, I’ve doubled my income!

[A quick swipe with a convenient dress shirt and she's sparkling new. A potbellied man enters; she waves him into the massage room and turns to us with a wink before following.]

PROSTATIA: (voiceover) And BukkakeTM isn’t… gulp, gulp… just for professionals!

[CUT TO: A seedy biker bar. A ring of large burly bikers, all facing inward with their pants down, breaks up. As they move away we see a young girl kneeling on the floor. She appears to have taken a cream pie in the face. And the chest, and shoulders. And hair.]

JIM: (from offscreen) Honey? You ready to go yet?

[Rather than panicking, the girl runs to the bar and swipes her face with a bar towel. Instantly she's fresh and wholesome, just in time for a Richie Cunningham-type of guy to come in the bar. He is clean-cut and wearing a letter sweater. He embraces her.]

JIM: Hey, you look great. Ready to go to my parent’s house for dinner?

[She nods happily. He hugs her again and gives her a big kiss on the cheek, then starts to pull her by the hand out the door. The bikers wave.]

JIM: Say, is that a new perfume? It’s very musky.

[CUT TO: PROSTATIA. She is alone on the bed, submerged in a soupy puddle. Perhaps 15% of her skin is visible, the rest is covered in goo. Another naked man comes in carrying a garden hose and begins to hose her down.]

PROSTATIA: Cough, cough, ptui! Whew! I could never have gotten the “Most Prolific Slut” award without Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM! Splut! Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM line of cosmetics includes everything you could ever want: foundation, blush, mascara, eye shadow, lipsticks, the whole works, and in all your favorite colors! Made with Spraybelline’s patented mix of the finest makeup ingredients and urethane. Try it and see! If it doesn’t wipe off with a damp cloth every time, we’ll give you some more of it! That’s the BukkakeTM Challenge!

[The hose is turned off. Prostatia is once again perfect. She stands and walks away from the bed as two men come in wearing thick rubber gloves and begin rolling up the bedcovers. They squish. We follow Prostatia to a small table which is displaying some small bottles and a wire brush.]

PROSTATIA: And if you order now, you’ll get a year’s supply of Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM Primer, Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM Remover, and this lovely cleansing brush.

DIRECTOR: (offscreen) Prostatia! I need you on the rock star dressing room set in 5 minutes!

PROSTATIA: (smiling) No problem! (whispers to us) Not with Spraybelline’s BukkakeTM. Remember, when you want your face to look as good as it can, you want BukkakeTM.