Well, we got woke up at the rise of the sun
With a choreographed number, from everyone
All the happy nekkid people, from old to young
The Hoot Island birthday had begun.

They brought us downstairs and they stripped us bare
and they all oiled us up, with loving care.
And you know you haven’t lived until you share
a hundred thousand person love affair.

You keep rolling and rolling and you’re still on top
of a lovely laughing lady, about to pop
and she threatens to kill you, if you stop
so you do the horizontal bop she-bop..

At the Hoot Island birthday brawl
you can always find a friend to love, real or virt-u-al
Everyone’s beautiful, can’t you see
when they’re covered in syrup and potpouri
and you’ll always be assured that your feeling is mut-u-al.

The pool was full of people just being explored
Not a single waiting orifice was ignored.
They all came in a bunch and as they roared,
they hit E over C, in a power chord.

Batteries were found and feathers were passed
and I never saw a daisy chain built so fast
as we all grabbed each other and hit the grass
to tear off an island-sized piece of ass.

I paused for a breath and I raised my eyes
to see the lay of the land, and to my surprise,
across a rolling sea of breasts and hair and thighs
there were a couple friendly faces I recognized.

At the Hoot Island birthday bowl
we got all kinds of gels, lube and birth control
You never have to worry about disease
just rug-burned shoulders, and wobbly knees,
fluid deprivation and a tired, happy soul.

Jen and Dave led the way with some camera tricks
while Peter North and Sabre were comparing dicks
We strung up Jane Duvall, so she could get her kicks
while blindfolded guests tried to give her licks.

I saw Heather get laid, but she stayed online
to make sure her website came out on time
Asia skated past and she was looking fine
although I’ve never seen a closer-knit conga line

Queen Kelli held court, you could hear the men shout
but she was still standing after they’d passed out
and Kay helped her prove, without a shadow of doubt
just what “crowd control” was all about.

At the Hoot Island birthday rave,
you can get a taste of anything you’ve ever craved
Doesn’t matter if you’re solo, hetero, gay
you’re all invited back here anyway
and bring all your friends to help us misbehave.

This is the porn
That excited the man that jacked off.

This is the girl
Who posed for the porn
That excited the man that jacked off.

This is the churl
Who paid for the girl
Who posed for the porn
That excited the man that jacked off.